Nothing Doing

Well I saw deer last night, which keeps the streak alive of seeing the four-legged critters at the deer woods. But I didn't see anything worth nocking an arrow for- just a few slick heads and yearlings. I wonder what's happened to Mr. 8 Pointer? I hoping he didn't wander off and find some other hunter's bait pile.

Still it was a good afternoon to be in the woods and to quote the wisdom of the popular bumper sticker-A bad day huntin' is better than a good workin'. Amen to that. I actually didn't take the entire day off, but I did manage to sneak out around 2 PM. When I arrived at the office that morning I wasn't about to leave my bow in the backseat of the truck to tempt some parking deck-loitering homeless vagrant. So I decided to take it into the office with me. I quickly hustled across the street with my bow case in hand, careful not to be spotted by one of Atlanta's Finest. They'd probably haul me off in cuffs thinking I was some disgruntled office worker coming to impale his fellow employees with a couple of titanium-tipped broad heads.

Slipping by the cops, I got into the building and was waiting for the elevator on the lower level when some elderly blue-haired lady walked up. There was definitely an awkward silence as she stared at my large, camouflaged bow case. Eventually the inevitable happened.

"So what's in the case?" she asked.

I considered saying a tuba.

"A bow."

"Oh...what do you use a bow for?"

Awkward pause.

"For deer hunting. I'm going hunting after work." I said.

"How CRUEL." She pronounced the word cruel as if Dick Cheney and I were about to water-board a six year-old child.

Finally the elevator door opened and as we rode up I proceeded to explain the ethics of hunting and the nutritional benefits of wild game to this lady. I even evoked the name Teddy Roosevelt. Blue Hair simply smiled politely and nodded her head in agreement. The elevator bell eventually dinged and the doors opened as we reached her floor.

"How CRUEL," she hissed in my direction as the doors closed behind her.

I really can't stand ignorant people.