Alive and Kickin'

One of the great things about the Wild Meat Supper back home, other than the mouth-waterin' vittles, is the stories one will hear around the supper table. You get a bunch of gray-haired old timers sitting around swapping hunting tales and you're liable to hear a whopper sooner or later. I thought I had heard just about every story there was to be told about my late Great Uncle Sid, but I was proven wrong Saturday night.

The following humdinger was relayed to me by Don Westmoreland.

As the story goes, one day sometime back in the late 1950's, Uncle Walt and Uncle Sid were cruising the back roads of Mills River in Uncle Walt's old car. They came around a curve and they spotted an big fat doe standing on the side of the road. The fact that it wasn't deer season didn't deter the two brothers in the least, and as Uncle Walt jammed on the brakes, Uncle Sid slid his rifle out the passenger side window and put a bullet right behind the old doe's ear, dropping her like a sack of 'taters. Quick as flash, Uncle Sid hopped out of the car , drug the deer's lifeless body across the road and shoved it into the back seat. Uncle Walt hit the gas, before the game warden came along, and headed for the house as fast as he could.

But they only got about half way home when the deer suddenly sprang back to life in the backseat. Apparently Uncle Sid's bullet didn't kill the deer but just sorted stunned the poor thing, knocking it unconscious for a few minutes. The old doe, after waking up in the back seat of an old Chevy, obviously freaked out. It commenced to kicking and thrashing like crazy-trying to escape the moving vehicle. Uncle Walt, afraid to stop the car in case the game warden was to pass by, simply kept the pedal to metal and his head down trying to dodge deer hooves. Uncle Sid on the other hand was throwing haymakers at the does head and doing his best to subdue panic stricken deer. Needless to say, old doe nearly beat the two brothers to death before they finally manged to get it home where it was properly disposed of.

I suppose my Uncle Walt and Uncle Sid gave new meaning to the term Fast Food. (insert bad joke drum roll here.)